Criswell’s Hall of Shame: Crimes Against Womanhood (Criswell Predicts Women’s Lib!)
Criswell Predicts Women's Lib
CRISWELL PREDICTED ON all manner of things, from politics to Hollywood to “shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings or whether the sea is piping hot or pigs have wings.” One topic he frequently extrapolated beginning in the mid-1950s and through the 1970s, was womankind’s eventual domination and rule over men, mankind, humankind, the World, and even Outer Space. He vividly detailed in a pulp science-fiction magazine how Mae West would be the first woman President of the United States by 1960, as well as the first person to land on the Moon with her entourage of George Liberace and Criswell himself. At one point he envisioned that pregnant women would be the first to land on the Moon. “The Newsreporter of the Future” was not accurate on his predictions for the Moon landing. Criswell later walked-back on his prediction about Miss West. “No, that was misunderstood. I predicted that the first lady president would be someone like Mae West—with a magnetism for people, and who could be easily imitated.” In his weekly, nationally syndicated column dated August 15, 1954, in the segment titled “What You Will Do in 1999” he began his crusade for feminism and sexual freedom with this prognostication:
“By looking 45 years into the future you will find that all traces of modesty as we know it today will have disappeared, and nudity will be the accepted condition. There will be nude public bathing beaches like Europe has today and all sports arenas will feature nude racing, sports, basketball, football, track with both men and women entrants! The sexes will not be on the same level, for the women will control and own the world by that time and men will be tolerated merely for the continuation of the race. Yes, in 1999, men will bear the names of the women they marry, and woman will never give up her name for a man’s. Stand by and see!”
October 31, 1954:
“It is now November 1, 1999, exactly 45 years from today, and you and your family have just returned from the National Nudist Day Celebration in your local park, where everyone attended nude, in honor of this celebration. There were races, baseball games, a huge picnic, plus a huge community sing. You all had a very good time, and enjoyed the perfect freedom without your clothes. On this day, everyone in this great nation, the United States (which now is composed of Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Alaska and Central America) must go nude or be fined, exactly as they are if they do not vote on Election Day. Men by this time do not vote except on minor problems, for women own and control the nation, lock, stock and barrel! Check up on this prediction!”
February 6, 1955:
“I predict that America will not only have a Hall of Fame, but also a Hall of Shame! This Hall of Shame will have the effects of our great criminals, who were statesmen, lawyers, doctors, teachers, soldiers, diplomats, all men, but not one woman will be represented here. All of the men in this Hall of Shame will have committed some grave crime against womanhood, rather than against humanity as a whole! Some of our national heroes who had very violent anti-feminist attitudes toward women’s rights, will suddenly find themselves in the same class as the worst despots the world had produced! Yes my friend, whether you and I like it or not, 1999 will be truly a woman’s world!”
On a rare one-sided 12-inch 78 RPM vinyl record titled Criswell 1955, available from local Philco television dealerships, he recited:
“I predict that one catastrophe will follow after another in quick succession and Mother Nature will show man that she is still mistress of the Universe. I predict that 1955, will be the year of woman’s supreme independence over men. She will enter and dominate the fields of politics, industry, business, medicine, and invention. I predict that in 1955, it will become apparent that there will be a woman president in 1960. In 1955, woman will control the world’s largest corporation. A woman will be the most dynamic business personality of our time. A woman doctor will amaze with her new found control of glandular disturbances and a woman scientist will make the most startling scientific discovery since gunpowder.”
In the February 1955, issue of the short-lived pulp magazine Spaceway Science Fiction, the 20th Century Nostradamus gazed into the future of humankind in Outer Space. He foresaw the last of the surviving human beings from Earth existing on a space station shaped like a cube.
“I predict that this floating nation in the sky will be governed not by an individual, but by an all knowing, analytical, mechanical brain. The brain will know everything there is to know, except the philosophy and psychology of the female mind . . . and I predict that this will cause its downfall.
“Women have always been superior to men, and in this coming age will prove they are even more superior to machinery and the wizardry of so-called scientists.
“I predict that tremendous floating world will be evenly divided with masculine and feminine inhabitants. All births will be controlled by artificial insemination, and the bodies of those who have died will be disintegrated. These future scientists, under the guidance of the mechanical brain, will evolve a method of isolating the life-force of all human beings——and this life-force will be kept in storage, so that each entity will have more than one chance at existence.
“This cube will be divided into rooms which are all connected by a series of winding hallways, elevators, moving platforms and train service. Everything is on the inside of the cube, for the exterior will be an impregnable fortress to guard against warlike invasions from other jealous worlds, and to protect the inhabitants against the danger of meteors and cosmic rays.
“I predict the life of every specimen on this manufactured planet will be as carefully controlled as the atom is today. Every thought, word or action will be policed by this tyrant brain, which will think it is greater than God. Men, women and children will be held in emotional bondage by being permitted to see only selected theatrical programs, attend carefully prepared lectures, read proscribed books, and at any time of the lunar day or night they will have their brain made a receiving station for controlled propaganda.
“I predict that it will be a woman who will free all that is left of humanity from bondage under this giant monster brain.
“I will now predict the actions of this brave, fearless woman, who will become known as the Joan of Arc of outer space. This amazing product of laboratory breeding will plan with her female counterparts, who are likewise convicts in the most fantastic jail ever conceived by man, a revolt against the tyrannical brain that is their warden.
“I predict this is the manner in which this revolution in outer space will take place. These women will construct, in secrecy, two powerful electric generators which, at a prearranged time, will be turned on in unison. The powerful electric impulse will completely destroy the electronic brain by fusing it’s relays, shorting out it’s circuits and shooting all its tubes, after first overcoming the brain’s electronic defenses.
“The men will revolt against the change of conditions, but the women will triumph for they will have the power to build a consciousness that cannot be turned by outside interference.”
From his first book of predictions, Criswell Predicts From Now to the Year 2000! (1968):
“Religion has ceased to be cultish, but there is an overall concept that everyone agrees to. The leaders of religion are women because men have misused this great truth and caused wars, privation and want! But all of man and woman’s efforts to perfect this imperfect world will have been in vain, for this day, June 1, 1995, is a scant four years, two months and seventeen days before the end of this civilization we call Earth.”
From a mailer/pamphlet of predictions promoting his first book:
“WOMAN ON THE MOON — I predict that this will be one of the most well kept secrets of our generation . . . that the first astronauts to the moon will be women . . . pregnant women! The medical fact is that a pregnant woman can withstand more pain per square inch of her body than can a man! Mother Nature has already pressurized her for protection, and when transported to the Moon, would not feel the discomfort a man would! I predict that four mothers-to-be, each schooled in taking care of each other, in various stages of pregnancy, will make the unbeatable team of Americans who will conquer the Moon! These Mothers-to-be will not need the extra sex stimulation and gratification that male astronauts need while in flight! ”
On his 1969, 12-inch vinyl record album The Legendary Criswell Predicts! Your Incredible Future, he foretold an eventual golden age of man’s subservience to woman and of another future Joan of Arc who would rise to power after her defeat of the “Prince of Darkness” who would
“turn back the clock a thousand years. He will return women to the life of slavery and servitude. Gone will be the vows of marriage, the right to vote, and the power of choice. This tyrant of mankind will force woman to become the public prostitute and the servant of the state and he alone will enjoy the monies of her shame. But this demon of greed will not stop at the humiliation of woman . . . He will be overthrown and the fate of one who dares to underestimate the power of woman, for tomorrow’s Joan of Arc will lead womankind in revolt. And then will come the golden age where there will be a woman at the head of every nation in the world! Women will control business, finance, industry, and will take the place of men at diplomatic tables. The conference tables and the Wall Streets of the world. Men will take the backseat and lose their influence in your very, very incredible future.”
He presaged the sexual revolution and an era when women would be liberated sexually and also liberated from their clothing.
“Remember, it was also a woman back in 1448, Mother Shipton by name who foretold, ‘The day of shame will come to pass, no clothes will wear the lad or lass. Who doff the shawl, and trousers too, and romp amid the morning dew.’ Yes, Mother Shipton was quite right. Never in the history of our world, have we dressed so briefly on the beach, in the garden, or on the streets. I predict that it will only be a matter of time, when you will join a nudist camp or health farm and enjoy the complete freedom of nudity. The human body is nothing to be ashamed of, for we were all born in the likeness of God. And remember it will be in your lifetime, when you will walk down the street, you will shop, and you will attend the theater in the nude! And perhaps in this very same city.”
He follows that with a prophecy that claims that not all is lost for the male race.
“I predict that you will not be able to turn this record off as they turned me off on the Johnny Carson program with my following prediction. I predict every able-bodied man in America will be asked to contribute to a sperm bank! This will later be used in artificial insemination if and when a holocaust should occur. This sperm bank will be open twenty-four hours a day and a night depository would be accepted. This for the eventuality that the male of the species might become extinct!”
He concludes with
“So what are we poor men to do? Personally, I welcome it, because we men have made such a mess of things that you women must naturally come to our rescue and do better!”
In his third book published in 1972, Criswell’s Forbidden Predictions Based on Nostradamus and the Tarot, he quotes Nostradamus from when the ancient prognosticator appeared to him in a vision.
“The first woman president will rule with a eunuch at her side. She will hold forth for seven years and be both hated and loved . . . A huge population of women from the Aegean area will unite and go against the liberation of women by being much more radical and greater tyrants. They will have nothing to do with man except to enslave him, buying and selling him like cattle. Normal sex will be outlawed and they will propagate only through artificial insemination. Huge sperm banks will be set up throughout their domain and men will be forced to make a weekly deposit.”
October 2, 1971:
“TOTAL WOMEN'S LIB COMING? — I predict that we men must soon face a new world of women! The Women’s Liberation League will sweep every man before it, and soon! I predict that the right to vote will soon be taken from all men as they will be proven ‘inferior and second class citizens’ in every state of the union! The women own and control 87 per cent of all wealth and have direct veto on the spending of 90 cents out of every dollar! I predict the women will soon hold all of the top responsible positions in law, banking, government, communication, education and transportation! We men will be at the mercy of stern hands! . . . Our boxers, wrestlers, football, baseball and all sports heroes will be women and the sports heroes of the past will be conveniently forgotten and written out of the records! . . . Any woman can win any argument over a man simply by asking, Why not give women a chance, you men have made a mess of it so far, haven’t you?”
Well? . . . Haven’t you??
-
Fact, Fictions, and the Forbidden Predictions of the Amazing Criswell
Read the forbidden predictions of the Amazing Criswell! Unmasked and revealed for the first time! By Edwin Lee Canfield.
£9.99 – £28.00 Select optionsEnter checkout code CRISWELLPREDICTS for 20% discount on the paperback edition. Hurry, we predict this offer will end in
Edwin Lee Canfield
Like this article?
Related Posts
Comments
Pop & Unpop Culture.
The best in independent publishing.
Copyright © Headpress